Caribbean Cruise

A cruise is a good way to get a lot of bang for you buck. You get to see several locations for the price of one, all while being wined and dined in elegance. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of middle ground in people liking cruises – people either say they love them or hate them. My theory on the people who say they hate them is that they’ve either never been on one, or created a self-fulfilling prophecy through their attitude toward it.

Personally, I find cruises to be more enjoyable when you go with a larger group of people you really like to hang out with in the everyday world. Going on a cruise by yourself is not for the faint of heart, but could be a lot of fun if you’re a very outgoing person.

Anyway, I think the most useful thing on this topic is to just provide some specific tips based on my experience…

• Itinerary – This is what makes or breaks a cruise. Don’t book a cruise solely on the places it goes, but rather the times the boat is in port. If you’re not a morning person, or like to stay out late and party, then a boat that’s going to be in port from 7AM – Noon isn’t going to be much fun at all. What you really want is an itinerary that’s in sync with your expectations. For me time in port trumps the locations visited – all tropical ports of call are fun!
• Excursions – The ship will offer lots of different packages for you to explore each destination. Some of these are better than others. The things I’d consider booking through the cruise would be any kind of water activities like snorkeling or diving. Often they arrange a boat to pick you up at the ship and take you straight to the location, which is very nice. However, I’d stay away from most “package” shore excursions if you can help it. You’ll likely end up feeling like a sheep or cow as you’re herded around the island in a cha-ching sort of way. My recommendation would be to do a little research before the trip and have an idea about what you want to see and experience at each location. Then, get off the boat with the people you want to enjoy the experience with and find a friendly cab driver you can hire for the day. Go with your gut, if the driver isn’t friendly or accommodating find another one. Negotiate a price and itinerary before you set out. If you find a good service-oriented driver who speaks good enough English you’ll end up seeing and learning a LOT more about the places than you would as part of a cattle car. And, it’ll probably end up being cheaper than the package tour, not to mention a more direct spend in the local economy.
• The Bar – If your plan on spending any reasonable amount of time at the bar you’ll want to befriend a bartender early in the trip. Find a bar you think you’ll be spending a lot of time near. For my last cruise it was the bar next to the casino and large common area. Sit down at a time when it’s not too busy, get a drink and chat up the bar staff. At least one of them will emerge as more service-oriented than others. Find out if their schedule for the duration of the cruise is pretty regular and in the same location (older bartenders with more tenure will have their pick of schedule). Once you find “your” bartender for the cruise, make sure he becomes your “friend” by dropping a $20 with a big “thank you <insert name>.” If everything goes as planned, no matter how busy the bar is, you’ll get your drinks right away. Of course, you’ll have to tip well enough throughout to keep the friendship alive :). On my last cruise, whenever I got close to the bar a fresh Becks showed up without even asking, while other people waited 2 or 3 deep to get a drink.
• Casino – Regardless of your experience level, there are likely games in the casino that you never really understood, or would like to know more about. Usually, the first day or two of a cruise the casino will offer lessons on the various games offered. This is often something that isn’t published in the “main” activities sheet so you may have to ask about it. Take the opportunity to hone your skills and ask lots of questions. My experience is that dealers on cruise ships are MUCH more friendly and accommodating than Vegas. Figure out how much you can afford to lose each day ahead of time and if you lose that amount walk away for the day. They make it far to easy to “charge” more chips on your cruise card, which could make for a really bad time settling up at the end.
• Sunscreen – Seriously, I know you’re probably all “duh” on me right now, but there’s always one in the crowd that gets fried the first day of the trip and is MISERABLE for the whole trip. Don’t let it be you. Yeah, the tropics burn, and don’t forget the top of your feet!
• The Ship – The bigger the ship, the more amenities and smoother the ride, but also the less ports of call they offer. Big ships can only go to big ports of call, which means all of your shore time will be spent with tons of people from other cruise ships as well. Smaller ships can get into smaller ports and possibly offer a better shore experience, often being the only ship to use a given port each week. Although, that can create a “fake” town experience that only materializes an hour before the ship arrives and disappears the minute the ship weighs anchor. So you kind of have to weigh the options and figure out which boat is right for you. I’d sort of let the itinerary drive the selection since that’s the most important aspect.
• Port of Embarkation – If you do a 7 day cruise it’ll likely be something like a Saturday to Saturday or Sunday to Sunday, which means there’s probably another day on either side your could extend your vacation a day or more. If you can catch a ship that leaves out of Puerto Rico, you effectively get an extra port of call. You’re likely going to have to travel a good distance to the port anyway so you may as well aim high :).
• Duration – A 7 day cruise seems like the best amount of time for me. Between the time it takes to get everybody processed and boarded, and then processed through customs and such on the return, it just seems like a lot of effort for anything less than that. Anything longer puts you into burning more than a week vacation and frankly you’re pretty worn out by then anyway (if you’re doing it right!).
• Room Selection – In my younger days I would’ve said it doesn’t matter because I wouldn’t spend any time there, but now that I’m older and can afford more I think it does matter. You want to avoid a room that’s too far down and therefore closer to the loud engines and the pounding of the hull against the waves. You also don’t want to be too far forward or aft, as that will make for a rougher sleep depending upon how big the swells are. Midship higher up is probably the best option because you’re pretty close to everything. Having an outside room really is nice so you can at least have a window with a view (assuming you’re above the water line). If you can swing a balcony do it, lucky you.
• Dining – A lot of ships will seat you with other people, but more and more are offering restaurant style, show up when and with whom you like. For the most part, I like being sat at the same time with other people. It’s a good opportunity to meet other people and it gets you on some kind of schedule. If your ship offers and early or late seating, personally, I’d take the late seating. Depending on your itinerary, if you have an early seating the boat may still be in port or just leaving, forcing you to rush to make it on time. The late seating gives you some breathing room to take a quick power nap or relax a bit before the night life begins. However your cruise is setup for dining, don’t be shy. If you really liked that lobster dinner, order another one! All the food you can eat is included so take advantage of it – you can always work it off later. See two options on the menu that you can’t decide between? Order them both! Most ships also have a pizza place open in the wee hours as well as ice cream and such :). Eat, eat, eat!
• Activities – Every ship has a whole group dedicated to ensuring your enjoy yourself. Stop by the Cruise Director’s desk and get a detailed schedule of events each day. The daily ship newspaper delivered to your room will provide a list of the main things going on, but it won’t go into detail about all of the little things. Don’t be shy, participate in the silly little games they play around the pool and such. It’s a lot more fun participating than you’d think!
• Alcohol – This could end up being one of your bigger expenses. Since you’re just signing for drinks all week it’s kind of hard to keep it all tallied in your head. Don’t let your bar tab get away from you or, like your casino tab, it could ruin the trip in the end. One way to cut down on the expense is to bring some of your own liquor aboard. The ship won’t allow you to, but there are ways to do it. For example, it’s convenient that vodka looks exactly like water when placed in a large water bottle. Combine that with the more reasonably priced soda plan and your poolside drinks are all set. Of course, the big frozen drinks from the bar are really difficult to pass up! If you want to buy liquor or wine while ashore the ship will gladly check it for you when you return to the boat and give it back when you depart.
• Pre-Departure – Contact your cruise company and try to get a schedule of events ahead of time. This way if there are any special themed events you can pack appropriately. There are other activities you may want to bring supplies for. For example, on one cruise they had a “horse” auction at the beginning of the cruise. It was just a wooden horse statue thingy that we ended up getting for about $150. The gimmick was that you decorated it, gave it a name and created a back story for the horse. You’d carry it to dinner and such and at the end of the cruise they’d have a horse race (driven by dice rolls) and the winner would take all of the auction proceeds, which was a nice little payout between the 10-12 horses auctioned. Anyway, if we didn’t know we needed decoration supplies then our horse would have been rather bare.
• Luggage – Try to avoid the large solid suitcases if you can. The rooms are small enough without them piled up and in the way. A good alternative is one of those duffel bags that has wheels and can easily be rolled up when empty. And they often stretch more when you pack all the crap you gathered along the way.